If you can't take the heat..

Stay out the kitchen (my wife definitely wants me out).

Yesterday I work up at around 5:15 AM w/o the alarm. I was ready to go. I knew I would be having a strenuous workout later during the lunch hour so I wanted to have a really good breakfast.

I decided to have my favorite egg omelet with mushrooms, asparagus, spinach, onions and broccoli. Cooked with coconut oil. It's the bomb!

It was early so I got up quietly and headed towards the kitchen. Things starting going down hill from there. I could not find the pot to cook the eggs and dropped one of the stainless still pots on the floor. This made the loudest noise possible. I gained my composure and scrambled the eggs. I had over a half a dozen eggs left so I decided to place them in an egg container in the refrigerator. I picked the first one out the carton and alas! That was the one balancing the whole thing on the edge of the counter.

The whole carton came crashing to the floor and now I had scrambled eggs on the kitchen floor. Cleaning that mess up was not fun (chasing egg yolks on a slippery surface), the object was not to let my wife know it had happened. At this point I realized I did not have enough vegetables so I got up on a chair (instead of the ladder) and got some from the pantry up above. That's when the cans of freeze dried vegetables decided to have a meeting and another bang was heard in the kitchen. It' now 6:00 AM. I finally finish the eggs and ate them (that was not before I managed to spill some of them on the dining table).

Before going to work I decided to shave. I quietly started shaving when I hit the can of shaving cream and knocked it down (why are this things so loud in the morning). That's minus three demerits.

I left the room (I know my wife is looking at me with piercing eyes at this point). Go back to the kitchen to grab a couple of things for my lunch box and you guessed it. When I went to retrieve the item in question, a bottle of Gatorade came flying out and hit the floor. Oh, the humanity of it all. It's now 7:00 AM. I finally leave the house.

When I get to work I remembered. The freeze dried cans that were now empty were supposed to be placed in the recycling bin. Nope didn't do that either. Oh boy. My name is mud. The rest of the day at work and my workout went really well. After all I was really awake now!

Later in the evening, I began to prepare a whole papaya by cutting into small cubes so I could have it the next day for breakfast or snack. I don't know what is it about me and utensils but, guess what. Somehow slices of papaya ended up all over the stove, in the handle to the oven and on the floor. Felt like morning all over again.

I cleaned that mess up! I'm supposed to be cooking for myself in the first part of August (were all going on vacation and my wife is leaving first with the kids), I hope this is not a portent of things to come.