My love affair...

For a long time I've had this secret love affair.

Every time I've let myself go and squelched the voice of my inner self telling me to stop, I've succeeded in feeling great for a few moments and feeling guilt the rest of the time.

Why do we do things fully knowing that there will be consequences, unfavorable ones at that! Following the path of least resistance, taking shortcuts, looking at the mirror and forgetting right away what we just beheld.

We sure are complex individuals, the answers are simple and yet not easy to implement.

To get to the bottom of my dilemma, I had to ask myself a few questions. Being honest with oneself is sometimes very difficult, easier said than done. The questions though, peering inside my soul, discovered and brought to light something I had forgotten.
When I was a little boy, every Sunday afternoon, my dad would take my brother and myself swimming among other things. While walking back we would have a large scoop of ice cream. My brother and I relished the moment; we waited every week for that special treat. That Ice Cream was the best!

Some forty years ago my brother and I with dad went to the pool, ran at the park and had some good fun. That ice cream was the climax of great afternoons and that is the memory that will never go away!

The problem resolved!

My brother passed away some years ago of a brain tumor. My dad has not quite let go and he is sick and frail now! After much soul searching I understand my love affair with Ice Cream. I also understand that trying to bring those happy moments back through having more Ice Cream than I should did affect my goals for a leaner version of me.

Emotional eating, a love affair with Ice Cream!

It was somewhat painful to realize this, as I thought that controlling my craving for Ice Cream would also mean forgetting the good times that my brother and I had with a much more vibrant dad. Yet I realize it does not have to be so! I can reminisce without participating in self destructive behavior and I can enjoy without over indulging.

Here is to good memories of years gone by! May we rekindle those good feelings appropriately not confusing them with something void or harmful in subtle ways!

Trying to rekindle memories inappropriately triggered an unhealthful response. What's your trigger?